Wednesday 7 January 2009

The Man Won't Annoy Ya...If He Can't Git Ya

In every country, immigrants have to go through a bureaucratic obstacle course to be considered legal and Taiwan is no different. No obstacle was particularly difficult in my experience but all required processing which usually means waiting around like a fat kid at the candy store. I figured if I am in process, why wait to work? Welcome greyland! population: You and every other not legal to work - worker. Every citizen of greyland is in a legal limbo or flat out working illegally under the table. Most are students working a couple hours a week, not the necessary amount to work legally. Besides, they work only for tax free spending money and not out of necessity. The other are either illegal immigrants usually from other Asian countries or those like myself in process and waiting for residency.


The Immigration and Labor Department practice the art of random check at English schools in Taipei. It makes sense since the schools employ a lot of foreigners. I was at work one ordinary Wednesday when the Immigration Department sent in their masters to do the art they do so well. Usually, these checks happen once or twice a year, so it happened that on this particular Wednesday my school's card was pulled.

While I was preparing for a class, one of the secretaries walked into the room and tapped my shoulder. I looked up to find a worrisome face. She said nothing, turned around and asked another teacher "do you have your resident card? Immigration is here and they are checking for them." Another secretary walked in and told me that "Immigration is here" and since I was not legal I should "try to leave immediately" before they saw me. About this time my boss entered the room and just says "maybe we can go out back and figure something out? maybe for a smoke." I followed him out the back door.

We began walking down the stairs from the third floor while my boss informs me about the trap door in the wall on the ground floor. He went back up to the office while I arrived at the secret door in the wall, open it and exit to the ally successfully giving immigration the age old slip. Not much wandering later I received a phone call saying that it was safe to come back.

Foreigners who get caught working illegally has its risks and number one is deportation. Worse, Taiwan may prohibit you from returning. Stories like this are familiar in Taipei. I once heard a tale of an American who jumped out of the second story window while teaching a kindergarten class and ran away to avoid getting caught. I bet the kids never forgot that lesson.

I have since left greyland and am now a legal resident of Taiwan.

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