Milk It

Every Monday I ask people how their weekend was. My co-workers, my students, anyone who looks for a conversation. It's shooting the shit and inconsequential but its necessary to social existence. I know this, so does everybody else. The question is often taken for granted and ignores the fact that someone may one day blow your mind all over the office wall with their retelling of their shenanigans.

This Monday for example, I asked my manager "What did you do this weekend"? He casually with, "I milked a rat".
......Milk a rat? is that possible? How the fuck do you milk a rat?
I of course asked him two questions. First, "are you serious" to which he said, "yes". The inquiring child inside me of course followed up with the ultimate "How"?

To make his story short, I will sum it up with this. Capture a rat who recently birthed vermin somewhere in your house, restrain with a vet cone (one your dog/cat wore when you took his balls) and then proceed to milk it.

ME: "Why"?
MGR: "I had never milked a rat before and I always wanted to try"

That's a weekend in a life.